Struggling to make sense of senseless murder.

A good friend of mine was recently stabbed to death. Justin struggled with manic depression and substance abuse since before we met fifteen years ago. As recently as last year, over some burgers, he shared that he needed to finally get sober for good. Or else he was, “going to get killed”, explaining how he’d recently found himself in a rough part of town with a gun to his head.

So when we heard our friend was found murdered on his front porch, it seemed both surreal and tragically inevitable. He had the ability to get mixed up in sketchy situations as he sought to bring hope and relief to the homeless and downtrodden in the darkest places of the city, while at the same time fighting the darkness of his own addiction. He even prophesied this was how it was going to end…

During his funeral, Justin’s uncle revealed exactly what happened that afternoon. It wasn’t a dispute with a crackhead he’d brought home to feed and talk to about Jesus. Three men showed up responding to his car being listed for sale, stabbed him in his chest and took off with his Acura. A senseless murder, removed from his afflictions, that could happen to you, me, your mother or neighbor. In addition to the sudden and tragic loss of a dear friend, the randomness of the crime makes it even more difficult to try to understand. Today, I’m meditating on at least three ways I hope to live better as I consider my friend’s life and death.

First, everybody’s number will be called in turn. We’re all going to die, sooner or later. I want to have the utmost gratitude for each moment I’m given. The alternative would be bitter nihilism.

Second, live each of these moments as fully as possible. For me, I’m most present and most available to God and others when I am sober in mind and spirit. Justin’s life is speaking to me of the importance of sharing the significance of my faith with the world, as well.

Third, cherishing and protecting my life and the ones of those I love, simply and practically. Being aware of the dangers of the world, and doing my best with the information I have to keep myself, family, and friends as safe as possible within my ability. It’s a tough world out there.