Worst shave of my life
It’s shaving season. I officially begin shaving around Easter, and will keep a beard off my face until some time in mid-Summer. For practical purposes, I need at least an inch of facial hair through Winter.
Most of my post-pubescent life, I used an electric trimmer and kept my beard as close as possible, because any blade that touched my face would result in painful razor bumps. I tried all the fancy options, and even a mail order shave club. My skin protested any blade.
As I escaped working corporate and retail jobs, I let the beard really go. For about 3 years it was free to grow, until I decided to try my first straight razor shave at a real barbershop. Not a single follicle on my face was irritated. Billy explained that the more blades running along your skin, and the more passes, the more opportunities to inflame things. So, a single, sharp blade, used carefully, will provide the most comfortable experience possible.
I was hooked, and started shopping razors, blades, soaps, brushes, oils, and aftershaves (I go hard). This new wet shaving adventure climaxed 6 months later, back at the same barbershop, as I gifted my wedding party, father, and very soon-to-be father in law with their own shaving kits.
They all received Merkur 34C’s , a double-edged safety razor, the same I started out with except theirs were monogrammed. By this time I was onto the best shave to date, my go-to is the Feather Artist Club kamisori-style straight razor. Another example of why I’m a sucker for Japanese stuff. There are some great products out there, these are in a whole category of their own above all else. And, they are so, so sharp. The next morning I woke up early in our honeymoon Airbnb, and proceeded to effortlessly draw a straight line across my cheek. There was an immediate sensation of heat where the blade became one with my face, as it instantly bled.
That was my first time using the Feather Professional blades, and I switched back the the Proguard and stuck with them ever since. The guards are a brilliant design, like everything about these razors and blades from Feather. Little ridges wrap the edge of the blade, keeping the blade from being able to slice while still able to efficiently destroy facial hair.
A week ago, I decided to give the Professional’s another try. I meticulously shaved just my neck, using only shave oil, which allowed me to clearly see everything I was doing. My neck has always been the biggest disaster. In addition to wussy skin, both sides of my throat have colics, and I must follow the direction of the swirls to not catch ingrown hairs.
It went perfectly. I graduated. No more training wheels. Not only did I feel I’d gained my straight razor merit badge, I like saving money and this meant I could get 5 more blades for $5 less dollars. $10 for 20 blades is the best you’re going to get for an Artist Club shave, and it’s totally worth it.
Tonight, I set out the finest of my shaving accoutrements, took a hot shower, and began the ritual. I allowed my mind to wander for just a moment, and the blade slid right into the skin above my lip. Deep. Mid-flight, while holding the blood back with toilet paper, I switched back to a blade with guards. I’ve never cut my face before with one of these, though I did tonight, figuring out how do some more damage. Immediately after the initial disfigurement, I confirmed that the itchiness under my beard was in fact poison ivy by swiftly slicing a couple blisters off my chin.
Here’s to continuing to stick to the Proguards, and a better shave next time…
