Jeff Bezos is a Time Travelling Pharaoh

Tell me you don’t see the likeness.

Back in Ancient Egypt, despite his greatest effort, Pharaoh Bezos was unable to completely dominate the entire world. First, mankind was too disconnected. Secondly, you can’t rule over people by force — it just doesn’t work, they have to allow it.

So, using extra-terrestrial technology summoned by the pyramids, Jeff pin-pointed the perfect time in human history when everyone could be reached and would willingly submit to full servitude — via retail addiction and next day shipping — and warped there.

If proven true, you probably still wouldn’t give up that Prime membership though, huh?