How to Score an Autograph
I could care less about autographs. In general, stuff isn’t really my thing. Though there are two bands that occupy their very own portion of my brain at all times, leaving room for nothing else down that special corridor. Neutral Milk Hotel and The Mountain Goats, both of which I could certainly dedicate a significant post to each, and probably a collection for the former. I thought I’d never get to see Jeff Mangum in real life, when he took a short break from his hiatus I managed to catch him 3 times, once with the band. My first time ever hearing The Mountain Goats was at a free show at The Gargoyle, a venue since closed on SLU’s campus. They were the band that broke me from playing NMH exclusively on repeat for a solid year or two. I’ve since seen them live half a dozen times.
While I’ve never tried to get signatures from anyone else, I went for these two. Incredibly, I snagged both of these at The Sheldon in St. Louis, one of my favorite venues — it’s intimate, and incredibly warm (all the carved wood helps). I will now explain my simple method that got me autographs 100% of the times I tried. If you are as obsessed with any artist or band as me, I hope my technique helps!
Be Prepared
I came with a favorite vinyl and a sharpie. The record was unwrapped and kept safe below my seat.
Get in Position
You want to be close enough to the artist to reach out and hand them the vinyl before they have a chance to leave the stage. At Jeff Mangum, our seats were several rows back and far to one side. After the first song or two, he began saying softly “hey everyone” and I knew he was inviting people to the stage. Before he finished his sentence, I ripped my pants a little bit booking it to the stage, where I sat at Jeff’s feet the entire show. It was unbelievable. I was first row at The Mountain Goats, but made sure during the last song before the encore to get right in front of the stage. A security guard saw that I was jockeying to get my souvenir signed and told me they would be available after the show. I said “thanks” and nodded. They were nowhere to be seen after the show.
Participate
Sing along! I think it helped they could tell I knew every word to every song. At least, that would be fun for me if I were a music artist. I’m not exaggerating or being grandiose, it would not have been possible for either to not notice I’m really into their stuff. I wasn’t feigning anything, either. I sang along and danced the same way I sing along at home, in the car, or riding my bike.
Strike at Just the Right Moment
At the very end of the last song, when they are saying thanks and removing their instruments, raise up your artifact, and your sharpie. Don’t hesitate, don’t be afraid. Have the cap off your marker, and remember to say “please”. They’ve got all the good vibes from a show well done, and you have set it up so it doesn’t take any more energy for them to do a quick scribble than to say “no”. In fact, Jeff Mangum did just that, less of a scribble than I leave on signature screen of the credit card machine when grocery shopping. That’s OK, he did it for me, and no one else that night.
Good luck!
